Originally written for Bad Housekeeping (February 2014), read it here.
When I tell people that I consider Kim Kardashian one of my feminist role models, their reaction is mostly shock, followed by extensive grimaces and sighs over my explanations as to why I feel this way. It took me by surprise too, but I truly believe that Kim is a potential feminist icon for our generation. The majority of the hate directed towards Kim (and her sisters) comes directly from misogyny. Most articles containing her name drip with sexist bile, mainly concerning her looks, her so-called vanity and her “excessive” weight gain during her pregnancy. She has been subjected to this horrific, misogynistic hatred ever since journalists have known her name. The way she deals with this is, to my mind, incredibly inspiring and has taught me a lot about the way society views women.
The most common misogynistic stick used to batter Kim’s image is how she got famous in the first place (although, really, this is pretty debatable). The infamous sex tape she made with her (now ex) boyfriend which leaked against her will and without her prior knowledge – I’ll say that again, against her will and without her prior knowledge – and launched her name into the celebrity gossip stratosphere. Somehow, despite not releasing the tape herself, Kim is the one blamed for its appearance in the media and has been subject to a torrent of vicious abuse concerning it – all of which is escaped by the man present in the video. Time and time again, women in the public eye have had their careers shattered and lives ruined by supposedly “shameful” pieces from their past being exposed in the media. Nude photos and sex tapes are frequently shared without the female participant’s consent in order to shame and ridicule her in the media (think Julia Roberts in Notting Hill). These are modern day symbols of the “wh*re” side of the Madonna/whore dichotomy society should have moved on from long ago. Supposed examples used by society as just another way to belittle women for daring to be sexual. Disturbingly, this is also happening in the non-celebrity world as the revoltingly named “revenge porn” phenomenon is increasingly becoming a way for embittered men to “get back” at their ex-girlfriends, punishing them for their perceived wayward behaviour by exposing the private ephemera of their relationship.
Funny how this never seems to happen to the men, isn’t it? In the endless mentions of this now infamous tape, barely any mention is given to the man in it, the man who leaked it to further his own career and fame. Though people love to use this video as a way of telling you how low their opinion of Kim is, I doubt any would even be able to tell you his name. (It’s Ray J, by the way, and even I had to Google that.) I said earlier that this kind of “scandal” can sink a woman’s career, but this didn’t happen to Kim, who until then was only really known as the girl who tidied Paris Hilton’s closet. She could have let the scandal overwhelm and humiliate her, but she didn’t. She took this terrible thing and built a money-making empire for her entire family, defiantly taking charge of her image and refusing to let public reaction to the video destroy her self-worth. Society does not like successful women and will do anything to drag them down. Such is the sex tape angle in the media for Kim Kardashian, every mention of it alongside her name is another way of “reminding” her that she isn’t as great as she thinks she is. That she is a “slut”, a woman unworthy of respect due to her impudent sexual behaviour. Any cheap barb made about that tape tells you far more about the person saying it than it does about Kim. Basically, if you hear someone express a negative opinion about Kim based solely around that video, they are undoubtedly a terrible misogynist who deserves neither your respect nor your time.
Another way Kim Kardashian is criticised in the media is for her supposed vanity – which is really a coded way of saying that she is proud of the way she looks. We live in a society that demands women “look after” or “take care” of the way they look, or in other words make sure that they are packaged for the male gaze. However, care “too much” or even take pride in how you look and you have gone too far. Girls, you can be pretty, but only as long as you don’t acknowledge this yourself. Kim, who regularly posts pictures of herself on Instagram, is branded as vain for doing exactly so. There is a video on Youtube where she describes how to take the perfect selfie with no irony or sarcasm involved whatsoever. I find her confidence and complete lack of self-deprecation so awe-inspiring that I must have watched it about twenty times; her self-assuredness is so natural that it seems almost alien to me. Girls in our society are not taught to love themselves and are mocked if they are openly “vain”. You should be bashful about your beauty otherwise you are too threatening, the power of the patriarchy is upset when a girl doesn’t need someone to tell her she’s beautiful. It is more socially acceptable for girls to hate their bodies, to list their flaws (a certain scene from Mean Girls springs to mind here) in the name of so-called modesty than it is to be truly happy or comfortable in their own skin. The patriarchy does not like confident girls, because confident girls grow up to be confident women who will not tolerate their bullshit – both in personal and political matters. That’s why Kim’s confidence is so powerful. She does not care what you think of her at all which, in a society where women are expected to consider male opinion at all times, is so, so refreshing. Kim Kardashian has taught me that what other people think of me is of very little importance. You only get one face in this life, and if you like it then do so aggressively because you might just inspire someone else to love theirs too.
So, there you have it. Kim Kardashian: my love, my life, my reason for being. She may not describe herself as a feminist, but I see the potential in her and I am constantly in awe of her resilience in the face of sexism. She is not perfect, but she doesn’t care and neither should we.
